Fly me to the moon.
50% of me: "I love dresses and flowers and pretty things."
Other 50% of me: "I love tattoos and hardcore music and concerts and skinny jeans."

internetmessiah:

Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?…No you hang up first! Hello? 911?

methbusters:

who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

ajaroferic:

yeah ok have fun cleaning that

ajaroferic:

yeah ok have fun cleaning that

rnudkipz:

when you start losing a bunch of followers

image

ghostgif:

*walks into school*

[APPLAUSE]